Monday, December 29, 2008

Lovers and Friends...

Usher always comes to mind when I hear those words..fortunately that wasn't true on December 18th when the ladies of Lovers and Friends decided to drop by and "conversate" with me on Sippin On Ink...The Colored Chronicles.

Lovers and Friends, set in South Florida, follows the everyday drama-ridden lives of a core group of multiethnic lesbians of color and their friends and lovers.

A great time was had by all as we were introduced to each character and the actor behind the character. Beauty really is more than skip deep on this show. It was wonderful to listen to intelligent women forming new pathways and discovering/learning more of themselves in the process.

Check out the show here @ Sippin On Ink

To view the episode 4 go to Lovers and Friends

To see upcoming guests on Sippin On Ink...The Colored Chronicles

Catching up

Ah the weather outside is frightful...actually it isn't. 70+ days for the last week or two has been nice but odd. I know I'm a southern girl but even I expect a slight chill on Christmas day. Speaking of Christmas day, it was nice. We woke up early due to the doggie more than anything. She "graciously" allowed me to open one present the night before so my goodie bag meter was pegged.

I find that I get more enjoyment out of watching others go ape shit over what I got them than jumping up and down over what I got. Weird.

We spent the remainder of the day chilling in pj's in between taking naps and trying out her new expresso machine. Four days later thats still the best gift I could have bought her, she absolutely loves it and grins everytime it

Nice weekend ya'll...and when I say nice I'm talking take a picture and hide that thingy nice.

So I wake up today and make it to what pays for the bread and butter I consume, jumped on twitter and was greeted by this...

Divorced Tenn. mother appeals night ban on partnerAssociated PressMonday Dec 29, 2008A same-sex couple is asking the Tennessee Court of Appeals to lift a judge’s restriction in a child custody agreement that prevents the divorced mother’s partner of nine years from staying overnight.

The Tennessean reports The American Civil Liberties Union filed a brief Tuesday with the Court of Appeals in Jackson on behalf of Angel Chandler, a divorced mother with two kids.Chandler said Chancellor George Ellis of the 28th Judicial District in West Tennessee imposed the restriction, called a paramour clause, in May without a request from her ex-husband and despite an evaluation that showed the children were not in harm’s way from their mother’s relationship. Ellis cited local law and precedent for the paramour clause, according to the appeal.

"This decision has been disruptive to our family," Chandler said. "We lived together in a stable, functioning family, and this was rather shocking to all of us. This is about the person we choose to be with. The judge decided to interfere, and it’s had a very negative affect in our lives."

After Ellis imposed the restriction, Chandler’s partner moved into a duplex near Asheville, N.C. Chandler and her daughter, now 13, moved into the opposite side of the same duplex. Chandler’s ex-husband has custody of their 15-year-old son and has remarried.ACLU spokesman Paul Cates said the clause primarily affects lesbians and gays with children because same-sex civil unions are not recognized in Tennessee. Heterosexual couples can circumvent the paramour clause by getting married, Cates said.

"Unfortunately, this case is an all-too-familiar example of how unfairly lesbian and gay parents are treated in custody and visitation proceedings," said Hedy Weinberg, executive director of the ACLU of Tennessee. "All the children’s health and welfare organizations have long recognized that lesbian and gay parents are just as capable of being good parents as straight couples, and their children are just as well adjusted."We’re hopeful the Tennessee courts will come to that realization, too."

Now if that aint some good morning BS I don't know what is. Out of the goodness of his "christian" heart the judge decided to intervene in a situation that from all intent and purposes needed no intervention. This is why you should have gotten out of your comfy seat and voted on November 4th!! Slowly but surely every inch of ground won will be slowly lost due to apathy.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


December 10, 2008
Man Fakes HIV Test for Unprotected Sex

More details on the HIV-positive man who faked his HIV test to convince his girlfriend to have unprotected sex with him. The Daily News reports that Duane Lang, 48, "typed up an official-looking HIV test report from the AIDS Center of Queens," where he volunteered. The girlfriend, who had unprotected sex with him numerous times (she first wanted proof he didn't have HIV), later confronted Lang about the report; a source told the Post, "She caught him in a series of lies that made her question whether he had told the truth about the HIV test." Lang now faces charges of reckless endangerment, which could mean up to 7 years in prison. Department of Investigations head Rose Gill Hearn said, "With deceit and depravity, the defendant repeatedly endangered the life of a person he supposedly cared for. Rarely have we seen a forged document used in a way that is so directly and personally destructive to another human being."

A Day without GAY

Here's the mission if you choose to accept it....

Our Mission

Day Without A Gay seeks to shift our strong feelings about injustice toward service! Let's fight for equality by out-loving those who would deny us rights. Call in "gay" on December 10th (International Human Rights Day) and volunteer for your local LGBT and/or human rights organizations. This site allows the LGBT community and our allies to be active in the search for service by posting and searching volunteer opportunities. We will not sit at home on December 10, 2008. We will offer love and support to those who need it most, the way only the gay community can! ***Help us update contact info for local newspapers and TV stations in your town by editing it onto volunteer info in your state or country. Then, make video and pictures of your DWAG activity and send it with a press release to your local news media. Help change the hearts and minds of people who just need a little more love themselves, and our rights will get stronger!***
Personally I'm going to have to pass and I'm probably the gayest chick I know. Being realistic in this day and time where people are loosing jobs daily there is no way in hell I'm going to remotely give anyone a reason right now to let me go. Simple economics dictates that I have to work to eat. I like eating as evidenced by my weight. Sure I could stand to loose a few pounds but I want that to be voluntary.
I do support those that can and wish you the best in your volunteer duties.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Gay Marriage...Against

Love this if only for the comedic moments...70yr old marrying 10yr olds. Yep that's what gay marriage means.

Gay marriage? Let’s stop and think about this
By John Fay November 25, 2008

Few issues of cultural importance in America long escape the gaze of a Simpsons’ episode.
In the episode titled “There’s Something About Marrying,” the city of Springfield legalizes gay marriage, prompting Homer Simpson to become an Episcopal priest in order to reap lucrative benefits for conducting such unions.

Homer very quickly realizes that he could make even more money in nuptials if he is less discriminating, and by the end of the episode he’s proceeding to marry the Sea Captain to the mermaid-shaped masthead of his ship.

We laugh about scenes like this and say they could never happen; of course, that’s what our grandparents were saying about gay marriage a generation ago.

Now, I realize the gay marriage issue surrounding the California voters’ decision on Proposition 8 is extremely emotional for a lot of people, and I respect their difference of opinion, but let us try and consider the vote from a rational basis.

The decision of California’s Supreme Court in May to legalize gay marriage, which Prop. 8 overturned, was extremely rash. There is nothing constitutional about gay marriage on a state or federal level. For gay marriage to even fit within the court’s jurisdiction, it must have some basis in constitutionality.

Yet the court argued that forbidding marriage rights to gays is discrimination, “like a person’s race or gender.” Race is a biological state; homosexuality is more of an emotional condition, and we should not, for that reason alone, start passing laws condoning it.

Being homosexual, like other emotional tendencies, doesn’t make someone a bad person, but it’s a problem that needs to be dealt with, not denied.
Now, there are several major problems with legalizing gay marriage. Once you’ve legalized gay marriage, why not polygamy, incest, bestiality or any other form of union? If the only criteria is that people love each other, then who says it’s wrong for a 70-year-old man to marry 10 underage girls?

Also, the Christian concept of marriage predates any state-sanctioned licensing program, which means marriage is an inherently religious concept in America. Any state interpretation of marriage that violates traditional church views may well be a violation of the First Amendment.
There’s also a social consideration. The potential of open homosexuality for creating social dysfunction has been made manifest in the protests against Prop 8 since Nov. 4.
Organizations such as the Mormon Church have been intimidated; people who financially supported Prop. 8 have had their names posted on ­— some have been harassed or even threatened with losing their jobs.

This sad reaction illustrates the danger of gay marriage. Now, this is not to suggest that all or even most supporters of gay marriage have acted inappropriately.
Once people become accustomed to violating certain social norms, they tend to feel less constrained about breaking others.

It’s hard to tell someone they should respect basic social rules — such as not harassing people for honest disagreement — when they already reject other customs, such as traditional marriage.
So, let’s think long and hard about this before overturning a tradition that has been in place for 2,000 years.

If traditional marriage is overturned, it won’t be the last tradition to be abolished by our government, and some of those will be ones none of us want to lose.

Reach columnist John Fay at


Okay last night a little after 11pm I'm pulling out the driveway slowly (because I'm in the GF's car and lawd help me if I scratch it) and my mind goes WTF? Slowly these images of white paper stretched on every conceivable surface in my front yard hits me.

WE HAVE BEEN TP'D!! Or for those not up on acroynms we've been toilet papered.

Now my first thought after the initial outlay of cuss words was kids being kids. That slowly faded as I drove thru my neighborhood and realised that we were the only house that got TP'd. So now I'm trying to figure out why. It can't be because we're black, 60% of the neighborhood is black. So logic says elimate the obvious and your left with the reality. Two females living in the big house on the end of the street. No kids and all visitors to home appear to be female as well. Are you with me so far?

I think we got TP'd because we're gay. I could be wrong. Hell I hope and pray that I'm wrong. In the meantime I filled a police report and reported the incident to the home owners association.

After doing all that I still felt I was possibly missing something, and my mind was still whirling so to the google machine I went. Found the site Stophate that basically broke down hate crimes around the US. Relatively proud of myself for reporting even if it leads nowhere or in the end isn't really a hate but a bunch of simple kids out for fun.

Wanted to share a part that really stood out to me while saying this will not be me and hopefully not you.

Hate Crimes & Their Impact
Hate crimes send a message that certain groups of us are not welcome and unsafe in a particular community. As a result, studies indicate that hate crimes appear to have more serious psychological effects on the victims and the communities they represent than do other crimes. Research indicates that victims of hate crimes often link their vulnerability to their personal, cultural, or spiritual identity. The result is that victims of hate crimes often suffer greater emotional trauma than other crime victims.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Stampede @ Walmart

So I'm driving home from work this afternoon, listening to my usual on NPR and rubbing the dogs head when I was dragged out of my commuting slumber by the recitation of this....

President Bush told us to go shopping.

Seven years later, Lehman Brothers went under.

In the aftermath, our panicked leaders prophesied doomsday if we didn't immediately go shopping to save America from recession.

And so we went shopping! We so went shopping, in rumbling herdlike elephant masses, we killed a guy who didn't get out of the way fast enough. It's a tragic incident, but by no means meaningless. Shopping is a religion, and some religions demand sacrifices.

The Wal-Mart employee died for us on Black Friday, but have we stopped to think what his sacrifice means? Not at all: We're stampeding right on through to the other side of Christmas. We aren't just shopping: We are saving America.

There were some voices that said on TV that maybe we should start saving instead of shopping. We heard those voices, too, especially when gas was $4, but we seem to have quickly forgotten them. Save what?

The business of America is business. And for you and me, Mr. and Mrs. Citizen Average, that means shopping.

I'm not going to make anything out of the fact that the killer mob stormed Wal-Mart, not Neiman Marcus, because the tragedy could have happened anywhere. Shopping mobs are unstoppable regardless of whether they are after diamond-encrusted slippers or Chinese lawn ornaments. The urge is the same: Get to it before they quit running the sale ads and America goes down.

And now that we are officially in a recession and too tired from shopping to figure anything out, they are making us feel guilty of murder, which we may well be. But we were just following orders.

That ladies and gents was sarcasm at its finest wrapped in a bacon slice of reality. In the end if we don't spend our government flounders. Shopping or rather consumerism is the basis of all we know and what we plan on. This is why Congress will approve the bailout for the auto industry. If not entire cities/towns will go under, ripple effect anyone?

I don't see the difference between bailing out the auto industry vs the banking. Everything is circular in the end. No work means no new purchases be they home, cars or food.

Prop 2

Figured I would start my blog off with the latest and greatest which appears to be the reaction around the world of Prop 8 passing California. For those not in the know Prop 2 in Florida also passed.

Here's a sample of the ads placed here (Florida) before the election...

Little girl lost
Traditional Marriage

Now if that's not the stupidest crap I've ever seen I don't know what is. I worked briefly with Marriage of Equality in Florida to prevent 2 from passing but as usual Florida showed its true colors and went for the gusto to not only screw "gays' but hetero's as well. Not that I was really suprised, the turn out for promotion of Prop 2 or rather the Say NO campaigns was dismal at best. I met more than one gay person who had no clue what 2 was even about.

Check this; the ballot language said, "This amendment protects marriage as the legal union of only one man and one woman as husband and wife and provides that no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized." Courtesy of Wiki

Essentially for all those heterosexual couples living together as man and wife but not legally married your union is no longer recognized. Along with that all those old assumptions such as health care and pension benefits being passed on, nope nada. Florida already had a statue defining marriage as between one man and one woman Prop 2 now prevents the state legislature from altering that definition within the state.

To a certain extent I'm almost glad it didn't pass and here's why. Now the door is open for this to move past the State Supreme to the federal Supreme Court. I'm having flashbacks to the civil rights movement though I know many blacks don't feel there is a comparison warranted. If you take out the word black and replace it with gay you'll see where most proponents of gay rights are coming from. Also remember that a little over 40yrs ago the Supreme Court ruled in favor of interracial marriage Loving vs Virginia Here is an excerpt from the ruline, note they use the word person below and please ignore the racist undertones.

“Intermarriage prohibited; meaning of term ‘white persons.’ — It shall hereafter be unlawful for any white person in this State to marry any save a white person, or a person with no other admixture of blood than white and American Indian. For the purpose of this chapter, the term ‘white person’ shall apply only to such person as has no trace whatever of any blood other than Caucasian; but persons who have one-sixteenth or less of the blood of the American Indian and have no other non-Caucasic blood shall be deemed to be white persons. All laws heretofore passed and now in effect regarding the intermarriage of white and colored persons shall apply to marriages prohibited by this chapter.” Va. Code Ann. ß 20-54 (1960 Repl. Vol.)

After stating all this what do we do now?

Well I attended a protest a couple of weekends ago in downtown Jacksonville. It was great to be able to do "something", unfortunately I could count the number of black women/men present on one hand. I know most here are still in the closet but I still expected them to do more, be more. The next chick that introduces her girlfriend to me as wifey I'm going to politely remind her that isn't possible and ask what she's doing to make that possible.

Check out Marriage Equality

Being better than...